Mob Wives

Mob Wives

The show begins with three women who all live on the Isle of Staten and rule like Mafia princesses should: having spray tanners to come to their house, shopping for high-end furs and getting their nails done. They grew up together with a fourth women, but her father, a charming underboss by the name of Sammy the Bull, snitched on the mob and took down the Gambino crime family. The daughter was ostracized and has been living in Arizona for a decade because the other bitches won't be her friends any more. But then she comes back and that's the impetus for this show. Some of the ladies are more accepting than others, and if the previews are to be believed, there is some hair-pulling to be had. It's not table flipping, but maybe that's being saved to surprise us.
Karen Graveno is the gal trying to move back to Staten Island. Her reasoning isn't just to stir shit up, but instead to work on her book about her life growing up in the mob. She leaves her daughter in Arizona with some other family members... just in case Staten Island isn't safe. She's been living in Phoenix and regaling the ladies there with wild tales of bad behavior, and you can tell that they all get a thrill from her gangster stories. But she was forced to move because of her dad's actions and even she admits that she was confused by his tattle-tale ways. Also, she makes me sad because she said her dad was her best friend and now says her 11-year-old is her best friend. She sounds lonely.
Back on Statan Island, Carla's soon-to-be ex husband Joseph is currently in jail, or "away" as this show likes to call it, for charges of stock fraud. She doesn't tell her twins that their dad is in jail, and instead just tells them that he's away for work. For years. She is tediously boring to watch.
Drita D'Avanzo's got some potential. Her husband is locked up for robbing a bank, but calls nearly every day so that he can put in his order for cold cuts. I was going to make a crude joke about fresh meat in prison, but you can fill in the blanks yourself. She likes going to visit her husband because it's like social hour, since everyone she knows is there saying hi to a loved one in prison. She's also a boxer and likes to fight any bitch that crosses her. And she is a makeup artist in her spare time. Perhaps she's good at covering up black eyes after she doles them out? Her bank-robbing husband is also Karen's ex, but they're over that and she seems to be the most welcoming of Karen back into the fold as far as the whole holding-the-sins-of-the-father-against-the-child thing goes.
The same can not be said for the most awesome Renee Graziano. Her father told her she'd be cut off if she talked to the daughter of the snitch, and there's no way that she is willing to lose her (allegedly illegal) income. Her father Anthony is currently in prison, and she's the single mom to a 16-year-old. She isvery into the whole Mafia scene and only likes to date guys that are somehow involved and have been to jail. During a dinner, Carla and Drita tell her she should join Match.com and then started brainstorming her profile. It was the highlight of the episode. I would definitely watch a show called Who Wants to Date a Mafia Princess? But that, unfortunately, is not this series.
The premiere episode left off with Renee and Karen finally coming face to face at Carla's birthday party. It looked like sparks were about to fly and I sure hope they do in the second week, because otherwise this show will be pretty boring and generic. Hardly a tune-in offer we can't refuse.
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Mob Wives